The nickname my family gave me when I grew up is 阿不 [ ah-boo ]
It means “no” in Chinese
I grew up as a people pleaser
It was difficult for me to turn people down
Always worrying about upsetting others
It took me a long time to finally understand
Every moment that is not a ‘yes’, is a ‘no’
And if I fail to say ‘no’ to the outside
I said no to myself
I have in fact rejected myself many times
Remember last time you said yes to something that you didn’t want to do but felt obliged to accept, to participate
How do you feel afterwards?
That’s how it feels like when you say no to yourself
“But I can’t…”
Upset your friends? Turn down this invitation from your boss? Disappoint your family?
Yes. They will be disappointed.
And that is ok.
Life is full of disappointments.
We expect them.
It’s not a big deal.
You are allowed to disappoint.
Just remember
Every time you are pleasing others against your own will
you are disappointing yourself.
And no one will be there to take care of your disappointed self except yourself.
Pick your poison.
